This weekend marks me being away a month for Thailand.  Umm where did August go?

When people would ask me what my expectations for coming to Thailand was, I would say that I really didn't have any expectations.  I'm going because I have extra time and don't want to grow up.  All of that was completely true, but now that I've been here for a month I've realized some things.

1)That I wasn't being completely honest with myself with the whole expectations bit.  Subconsciously I was expecting to make an impact on the country of Thailand.  In the words of my summer boss, that I would be saving the starving children and making people happy.  And I'm at a study abroad program, to learn and stuff.  So the first few days of class, I felt that me being here and going to class was kinda pointless.  That me setting in this classroom, trying to make bffs with my professors was doing absolutely nothing for the betterment of Thailand.  However, this thought isn't necessarily true (ok it really isn't, but I don't want to admit the benefit of school).  My pride gets in the way of so many things.  I really need to get over myself.  I'm broken.  And the only good that can come from me is through Jesus' awesome power.

2)That school actually is supposed to benefit me and will help me greatly as me and Jesus face the world.  Even though I still struggle with this thought, mostly cause I'm ready to be done with school. forever.  I know it wouldn't be good for me to go out in the work field with no education.  I need to discover what I can offer and then offer it to places instead of just showing up saying use me I have no idea what good I am.  This process could turn out ok, but its much easier if I already have a skill and knowledge to offer someone.

3)And how wonderful life is when your not trying to control it.  This past year I've done a lot of things out of the blue with no or little expectations mission denver and the wycliffe internship for instance.  I wasn't a fan for the longest time, but I've come to realize how freeing it is to put my whole life in Jesus' hands.  To realize how powerless I am and that I really can't do anything worth while on my own, but if I let the Holy Spirit work through me some amazing things can happen.