So the other day I was talking to a friend about getting out of our comfort zone and how we need to surrender our selves, all of our selves to Jesus and that all will be ok. That we don't need to worry about disappointing people as long as we are following God's heart. To be brutally honest, I was just thinking about the comfort stuff for my own life, thinking that going to Wycliffe and Thailand was enough for me to surrender. Ha.
So I started reading crazy love the other day and what do you know I come to the chapter where it talks in order to love God you need to surrender all of yourself. Huh? I have always known this, yet at the same time didn't. I knew I needed to surrender, but I would just give Jesus bits and pieces. The book also talked about how Jesus said to the man that said he needed to say bye to his family before he left and followed Jesus, that he shouldn't follow Him because he couldn't drop everything. This story has always bothered me, because I want to drop and follow Jesus, after I say bye to everybody. However, that is me putting my relationships before Jesus, not fully surrendering my life to Him. This is one huge pill for me to swallow.
Another point the book has made is about loving God before you can love others. That we actually need God's help to love others, that it is pointless to just say to God I want to love people more. So we need run to God and seek his refuge and ask for his help to love, because loving the world and Him is something us puny little humans can't do.
Surrender is what I have been hearing. That I need to just give it all to Jesus, going across the world is not me surrendering my life to Jesus. I need to drop everything and run to Him, even though a part of me wants to hold on to this earthly stuff. Who knows why, because it is getting me no where.
So I pray as I head out to DC tomorrow that I am able to surrender everything with a joyful attitude and that I am able to seek God's help in order to love. I don't want to ask this, because Jesus will blow my mind away, but I know this is what needs to happen. So here I am Lord. (and her comes the uncomfortability)
It's not about me.
No comments:
Post a Comment